Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
