I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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