he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
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