How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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