he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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