piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
