Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
