omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
