Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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