I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I think my vagina is haunted
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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