Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Randomize
