Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
