Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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