Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
