Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
