No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
