What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Randomize
