she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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