She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Randomize
