Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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