whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Say something about gay babies.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
