he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I checked into jail on foursquare
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
