Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
