if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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