I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
