Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
