one two three fourrrrnication!
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
