So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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