My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
