Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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