shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
