your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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