you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
