god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
