Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
