i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Randomize
