It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
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