$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
