And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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