Yo dont text me then not text me
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
