please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
