i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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