i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize
