Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
