Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
