dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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