literally had 100 drinks last night.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Randomize
