You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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