Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
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