Whod you bang
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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