Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
