i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
