I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
