we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
No I am not eating basil off your cock
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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