Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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